If you are a follower of Christ, then it may be important to you to integrate your Christian values while needing to get help from a Christian counselor who is trained and experienced with psychological and emotional complexities. As a seasoned and a professionally trained marriage therapist, Jousline Savra highly values God’s Grace, Healing and Guidance when necessary. We are made in the image of a God who is Holy and Almighty. He is also a relational God who is our Father in Heaven. Most of our hurts come through relationships, but most of our healing comes through relationships as well.
The world is screaming at you from every direction, there are agendas to pursue, and all these activities and demands on your life that pull you from different directions can stir up a lot of emotions and life challenges. We need to step back and think about who we are, and who God is to us. Think about three things that are important to you, and how you are feeding those issues or giving space to them. Relationships are the center of everything. We all have been hurt. Who right now in your world is part of that hurt? Who is your support system?
Dr. John Townsend in his article entitled ‘What is Good Christian Therapy?’ says, “a good therapist is someone who is able to help you contain aspects of your self that you are unable to tolerate, unable to grieve, or feel, or experience, talk about or even recognize in yourself. He or she is like a good parent who sends the message - ‘I can deal with this black hole part of you. And my being able to deal with it and talk about it means that, in time you’ll be able to deal with it too.’ This containing of a person’s emotions can make all the difference between competent and incompetent counseling. A therapist who doesn’t have the capacity to be emotionally present with you is not going to do you a lot of good, no matter how theologically sound his or her counseling may be. The best counseling is both theologically sound and psychologically effective: it incorporates the truth and a safe relationship.”
Single or married, the journey of individual therapy for men and women can be an enriching experience. Counseling can help you to diminish some of the painful effects of the past that continue to impact the quality of life and relationships.
Depression, anger, stress, loneliness, anxiety and feeling in happy in your relationship are painful experiences that lead you to meet with a counselor. Chances are you have experienced one or more of these conditions. You don't have to face these painful experiences alone. When we feel any of these emotions such as feeling depressed, despair, angry or grief, in the midst of these emotions many feel broken and deeply hurt and hopeless. Self-care is an important component when you go through frustrating and painful times. Practicing healthy self-care is non-negotiable when you might be barely keeping your head above the water. It's important to find a place where you can experience renewal and healing by meeting with a Licensed Therapist who is experienced to help you. The process of effective therapy is about helping you to move toward feeling restored, so that you can function well again and feel yourself.
You can enjoy singleness and have fun as a single person. However, people grow and thrive when they are in relationship with other people. Whether singleness is a temporary or a permanent state your soul still needs to grow and thrive. I often hear from singles that while there are aspects of singleness they enjoy, they also want to be married someday, and long for a connection with another person. This is healthy, natural and a common feeling. Sometimes singles are not sure what that would look like, and they want to know how to achieve that. Single men and women often say, “I am not sure how to move forward and be happy and find that person".
It is critical that you take the time and work on yourself through effective individual therapy and work on your personal struggles before getting married or seriously dating that person. Taking sometime to look at yourself and some of your family of origin issues could create a great clarity for your choices that will impact your life.
Seek good and effective therapy for any of the issues that you might be struggling with. For example, if you have fear of intimacy, face it, talk through it and look at the underlying thoughts and feelings with a licensed psychotherapist. The process of good therapy can move you toward growth where you can begin to uncover the personal struggles that may have kept you single longer than you wanted.
As a relationship therapist, I work from the ‘Attachment Based Theory’ helping couples and individuals become aware of their love style, and how that impacts their relationships. Sometime there is unfinished business within your soul. It is not uncommon when a single person may still be struggling with basic trust issues, or fear of intimacy and perhaps a tendency to allow others control them. As a result of this, they keep finding themselves in repetitive painful patterns in relationships. As I have said in my blogs, our early life experiences have a huge impact on who we are today. Our early life experiences play a huge role in how we have developed as people, how we communicate, and how we see ourselves. This plays a huge role in the way you bond and connect in relationships in spite of our Christian values. To find out what your bonding style is you can start by taking How We Love - Love Style Quiz. I can help you to understand the results of your findings, what steps you can take to make in your personal growth and development.
Do you have passive tendencies? Do you avoid difficult issues? Do you vacillate? Is it easier to please others? Do you know how to share your emotional needs with others with honsety in your intimate relationships, and have good communication? How good are your boundaries with others? Do you know when and how to say no and when to say yes? Do you know how to find safe people to connect with?
Taking a good and honest look at yourself through process of individual therapy would include focusing on specific issues and that can make a huge difference in your life. Please don't wait any longer. Contact me to set up a free phone consult to discuss any questions you might have.