You can enjoy singleness and have fun as a single person. However, people grow and thrive when they are in relationship with other people. Whether singleness is a temporary or a permanent state your soul still needs to grow and thrive. I often hear from singles in my counseling office,that while there are aspects of singleness they enjoy they also want to be married someday, and long for a connection with another person. This is healthy, natural and a common feeling. Sometimes singles are not sure what that would look like, and they want to know how to achieve that. Single men and women often say "I am not sure how to move forward and be happy and find that person".
It is critical that you take the time and work on yourself through effective individual therapy and work on your personal struggles before getting married or seriously dating that person. Taking sometime to look at yourself and some of your family of origin issues could create a great clarity for your choices which will impact your life.
It is highly critical that you deal with the roots of your singleness. Sometime there is unfinished business within your soul. It is not uncommon when a single person may still be struggling with basic trust issues, or fear of intimacy and perhaps a tendency to allow others control them. As a result of this they keep finding themselves in repetative painful patterns in relationships. As I have said in earlier pages of this website, our early life experiences have a huge impact on who we are today. How we have developed as people, how we communicate, and how we see ourselves. This plays a huge role in the way you bond and connect in relationships. To find out what your bonding style is please be sure to take the How We Love - Love Style Quiz.
Do you have passive tendencies, do you avoid difficult issues? Do you vacillate? Is it easier to please others? Do you know how to share your emotional needs with others in your intimate relationships and have good communication? How good are your boundaries with others? Do you know when and how to say no and when to say yes? Do you know how to find safe people to connect with?
Taking a good and honest look at yourself through process of individual therapy would include focusing on specific issues and that can make a huge difference in your life. Please don't wait any longer. Contact me to set up a free phone consult to discuss any questions you might have.