Married to an Addict

Are you in a relationship to an addict? Practicing as a Marriage Family Therapist in my counseling office in Toluca Lake, one of the most serious issues I encounter is when a spouse lives with any addictive behavioral patterns. In today’s world and complexity sexual integrity issue is an epidemic in many marriages and relationships. These addictive behaviors are not limited to substances but sex, gambling and pornography.  It is common unfortunately to live with these secrets and the pain of any sexual integrity wounds marriages. The longer these struggles remain in your life you will experience more pain and damage made to your relationships. The good news is there is great help. You can seek the right help. If there is infidelity, when the spouse discovers of extra marital affair or any other compulsive sexual behaviors such as pornography, know that you must get help. No one can overcome this alone. These are very serious matters that require seasoned professional help of an experienced counselor. Please don’t wait long to address and face these issues as a couple. You are not alone and you can’t do this by yourself.

Whether it’s sex or alcohol, they all have the same affect, the problem is that the complulsive behavior also changes and negatively impacts your brain, and makes it hard for you to get out of these negative behaviors. It leads to poor judgement and destructive choices leading to serious impairments in life. There is a lot that occurs in your brain. Addiction is full of thoughts and desires. Overcoming addiction is very difficult and you or you spouse can not do it alone. Check the following as a start.  If you or your spouse are struggling with any sexual integrity issues, please go to this link sex addiction screening. Take this screening and be brave to face your reality.

If you are experiencing betrayal in your marriage or infidelity on a large scale, or if you are dating someone who is betraying you and keeps lying to you, please don’t ignore this. This problem will not disappear nor be resolved by passing of time.  The reality is that you are the one who is hurting in the relationship or in your marriage, and it is important to know how to address this difficult issue with your partner. You need to get the right professional help. You are the one that bad things happened to in the relationship. Your spouse is also suffering in his or her own way so this is why it’s important that you both seek effective professional help.  Make sure you seek help from a counselor who is highly experienced treating sex addition in particular, and other addictions.

If you know someone who is struggling in particular with sex addiction share this blog with them, and discuss your care and concern with honesty and respect. You can find helpful information by searching help with partners of sex addicts. If your spouse is struggling with any compulsive sexual activities or might be a sex addict, I highly recommend the Banyan Group Therapy for a real help. Another excellent resource for marital relationships and families to consider protecting their relationships is internet accountability system known as Covenant Eyes.

For those of you married to spouses with alcholism or other substances, you can search or google, Al-Anon groups or AA groups in your area.  Wives, if you are in a relationship with an addict, married, engaged or dating, don’t ignore what you are experiencing, pay attention to how you feel, you have been betrayed, violated, lied to, hurt, let down and your trust has been broken. This is very serious!!

These are the things that you need help for. You have to make a decision to stop and end the deceptions by first seeking help for yourself. Please don’t wait any longer, don’t let time passes you by and take the right steps to get help.  Staying silent, and allowing time pass by will not change these painful issues and will not heal the relationship.

Jousline Savra, Licensed Marriage Family Therapist in Burbank, Certified Brainspotter