Do You Feel Stuck In Your Marriage?
Do you feel stuck in your marriage? Well, you are not alone.
The feeling can result from various factors, such as unresolved conflicts, a lack of communication, or loss of intimacy. Since it can be challenging to resolve them, most couples find themselves emotionally drained with no idea of what to do next.
However, there is hope. With the right information and a little help from an experienced marriage counselor, couples can work through those challenges and steer their marriage in the right direction.
Let’s dive in.
How to know if you are stuck in your marriage
There are signs to look out for.
The fun is over
Remember when you first got married? Every day was an adventure together. Your partner could spend time with you, create memories together, and explore your interests.
However, as time passes and the family grows, you could reach a point when the fun is over and the excitement to explore life together fades. You suddenly realize you are spending less and less time together or are disconnected when you are.
If you had hobbies that initially brought fun into your lives, you could feel you aren’t interested in them anymore. If that’s the case, it could be a sign that you are stuck in a marriage and need to take action.
You have less concern about each other
When you realize you stopped having concerns about your partner’s life, it could be a sign that your marriage is stalled and needs to be unstuck.
In the early years of marriage, most couples are highly interested in their partner’s day, their experiences on that particular day, and their happiness and well-being. If you recently began feeling that the concern is no longer there and no one bothers to check out for another and ask how they are faring, then something is amiss.
The result of this is a disconnect of both partners from the common goal of building a strong union and a stuck marriage.
You feel neglected
This comes when you feel unimportant to your partner. If you feel neglected in marriage, it could be a sign that you are stuck and need to re-evaluate your relationship to bring it back on track.
The feeling often comes when partners don’t give one another attention, affection, or appreciation. And when a partner is unappreciated in marriage, they feel unloved and resent their contribution to a healthy marriage.
If you feel that you are doing all the work without the appreciation and affection of your partner, take that as a sign.
One of you keeps secrets
Is your partner keeping secrets? That’s not a healthy practice in marriage and could easily destroy the union. Keeping secrets makes partners untrustworthy, which creates a rift between them.
Partners could give half the information to another or keep it all to themselves. They can also be evasive about their whereabouts and their actions. If that is you, it can make you feel anxious and guilty to truly enjoy being with your partner. Time to unstuck your marriage.
There is no commitment
Marriage is only strong if both partners are willing to make it so. If one or both partners aren’t committed, it brings forth that feeling of insecurity and doubt about the future.
Partners ought to be committed to their union and invest their time and energy into making the marriage successful. That means if there is no effort to do so, there will be a feeling of being stuck in your marriage.
You are increasingly attracted to other people
Apart from feeling your partner is no longer committed to your marriage, you could also feel constantly attracted to other people, fantasizing about them, and seeking new connections and relationships.
If one of the partners is doing that, it can bring a sense of guilt, preventing them from deeply connecting. It is essential to discuss with your partner how you feel regarding your marriage.
What should you do about it?
Now that you know there are issues to tackle, how should you gain traction in marriage and regain your happiness?
Start with these tips:
Understand why you feel trapped
This is the first step towards solving the feeling of being stuck in the marriage. Don’t go on and on before settling down to ask yourself why you feel that way.
Questions lead to exploring your deepest self and understanding the source of your feelings. Are you feeling stuck because your partner is not committed, you feel neglected, or they are keeping secrets?
All these questions can help you understand why you feel stuck and come up with ways of solving the issue.
Tell your partner how you feel
Let your partner know how you feel. Yes, talk it out with your partner and let them suggest the next move. Think about it – marriage is a union between two people who genuinely care and love each other.
Approach them with care and affection based on your understanding of how your partner handles issues. Tell them how you feel and why you feel that way. From there, you can agree on an amicable way to solve the problems.
Here are a few things you can focus on to bring you closer together.
Try something new together on weekends
It could be that the love you once shared is slipping out of the door. Don’t worry. You can try signing up for a new activity with your partner. Go bowling on Saturday together, or register in a hiking group and include your partner, take dance lessons, and find something that will bring you closer.
All these can go a long way in practicing supporting each other and rekindling the lost love. That time spent together bowling, or any fun activity is essential in helping you and your partner shake off habits drifting your marriage in the wrong direction.
As years pass by, most couples spend less and less time together. They could be focused on work, side hustles, and so on. It is not a bad idea to skip your major life event once in a while if you are tied up at work, but don’t let it be a norm.
Date nights can help you get rid of the feeling of being stuck in the marriage. Think about it – it can help you spend quality time with your partner and strengthen the marriage bond.
And don’t think it’s that hard to set up one. A date night can be as simple as eating out together at your favorite restaurant, preparing a meal, or having a movie night. The essential thing is spending quality time with your partner.
Remind yourselves of the happy times
The easiest way to feel the connection again with your partner is to remind yourself of the good old days. Remember how you felt the first day you met them, the dating period, and the surprise during your birthday.
All these might seem in vain, but they are essential in rekindling the first love. From experience, we have noted that couples could sometimes be clouded in negative thinking to the extent that they forget the many things they have been through together.
By reminding yourself of the good times you had together, it will be easy to glimpse your partner’s good qualities and realize all is not lost after all.
Talk to a marriage counselor
Marriage Counselors understand how overwhelming and challenging it can be to feel stuck in a marriage you have spent years building. Whether it is a lack of commitment, inadequate time together, or infidelity issues, it may be time to work on your marriage.
They offer sessions to couples who feel stuck in their marriages. With a platform to effectively iron out your differences and bring the misaligned goals together, your marriage should begin steering in the right direction in no time.
Jousline Savra believes every couple deserves the chance to develop a deeper understanding of one another and ultimately build a stronger, more fulfilling relationship. As a marriage and relationship therapist, she offers practical and effective tools to help couples make real progress. Give her a call today and get started on your journey to a better marriage.